Wednesday, February 13, 2002

Okay, so I know I said I'd talk about roleplaying here, but right now it's 2350 and I really should be getting to bed soon. We had an entertaining escapade tonight (we being the gentlemen of Testimony, and myself specifically), which I will relate at a later date. In the meantime, something tonight reminded me of: as much drama as is going on in Testimony right now, the Players had more. I didn't need to be in the center of the drama back then, and I don't need to be in the center of this.

It's funny how when Twilight was taking care of someone I didn't feel the need to get involved - I mean, obviously I cared, but in a sense it was being taken care of. I knew that if I was required I'd be called in. To pray, to talk, to listen - whatever. For this reason I wasn't generally concerned if I knew there was a problem that nobody was talking to me about.

I haven't been as good about that sense of perspective up here. I feel like in a way I've fallen prey to one of the fallacies that we Christian bourgeoise intelligentsia are often prey to: the "I have to be involved in every problem" fallacy. In fact I think a military analogy is more apt: an infantryman trusts his buddy to watch his back, so he focuses on the area he's responsible for. In the same way, I don't need to be involved in every crisis - just so long as somebody is involved in every crisis, so nobody goes it alone. If I'm needed I'll be called. And if not, hopefully I'll be told about it after the crisis has passed.

So like I said, I haven't been as good about that sense of perspective as before. But hallelujah that God is re-teaching me. Sometimes the old ways are better.

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