Well, I'm back at Stanford and more or less moved in. My gear is where it should be, Goochy is atop his lightning ball, and Hoplomachos looks down on me at my computer from his perch atop my bookcase.
My sister, meanwhile, is at Pepperdine, and I must say that I am vaguely jealous. Maelana is proud of her school, and I can't say that about mine. It's not that I'm ashamed of Stanford, mind you, but there doesn't seem to be anything about it that's really worth being proud about. It's smart, reasonably innovative, and morally mediocre. We have a surprisingly strong believing community, of course, but the institution itself is ... not much of anything. But I suppose it's really fairly rare to find a school or company that one is actually proud of, so all that is by the by.
What really vexes me about being back here is the way I seem to become more of a creature of emotion on this campus. The pettiest things can send me spiraling down into a self-pitying funk. It's like I'm contending with the spirit of this place, a spirit of self-importance ... which, come to think of it, sounds precisely like what I am doing. I shall have to take steps accordingly. I am glad that Eliani returned On Basilisk Station to me. In places like this it is good to have role models like Honor Harrington to remind me that there is a better way to live.
Of course, despite its various failings, I do still want to be back at Stanford. This is where I belong, and this is where I shall stay. And after all, I would do well to remember that I am here to grow up ... and one can hardly expect God to have sent me to a place where living was easier than home to grow me up. Besides, I have big plans for this year. The biggest of which is beginning the process of marketing Phoenix Earth, which process I will be pursuing on two different tracks. The thought fills me with trepidation now that I have actually begun to investigate what that entails, but I shall press forward. Phoenix Earth is not just my baby; it is my testimony. It's a story that I think deserves to be told. So I shall tell it, if I can.